To Bee or Not to Bee

I said I was going to take the weekend to decide whether or not I will apply to be a Bee on Weddingbee again, but I've made up my mind. I will not apply again. The more I think about it, the more I realize my beliefs and my friendships are more important than my wish to become a bee. I was going to call and ask my Carey (yeah, I call him "my Carey" - it's a long story) how he felt about it, since he's probably the most outspoken of my friends on the issue of legalizing gay marriage. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I couldn't put him in that position. "Hey, there's this thing that I really really want to do, but it will make money for a company that isn't very gay friendly - is it okay with you if I do it anyway?"
I mean, really. . . how selfish would that be? And how would he answer? "No, I'm really not okay with that." That answer may cause some uncomfortable moments. "Yeah, cool... go for it." But I'd always wonder if he was just saying that because he wanted me to be happy. Typically, Carey's a brutally honest person, but there'd always be this nagging voice in my head telling me I really hurt his feelings and he's just too good a friend to say anything.

Edit 10/15/08
The real test was this: I decided after posting this entry that I would blog as if I were reapplying for weddingbee for a couple of weeks. That was 11 days ago, and I wrote exactly ONE entry - I had to really make myself write that one. So I know I made the right decision. . . I'll blog because I want to and I'll feel good about it because I'm not making money for anyone whose business practices appall me.